Conversation with Meredith (part 3)

This is my reply to Meredith. I was astounded by the information that she sent in her email which confirmed my suspicious that she would get and take Carly's side. I'll admit that in reading the first part of her email my defenses went up and that's where this response came from. While this response is true in everything, it was merely me getting defensive. I completely missed the part of her email wherein she offered a resolution. Once I read her email a second time and caught that part, I sent a second follow up email (see part 4)

--------------------------------------------

Meredith.

My email in no way was an attempt to have anything done to Carly. I have never harbored ill will of Carly. Period. However, I will point out that despite the fact that you and Carly both have the best interests of RMAP in mind, not thinking there is room for improvement is not the best place to start. No one on this planet (myself included) is infallible or error free. There have been many complaints about customer service with RMAP -- including complaints against Carly. NO ONE (especially myself) has ever slandered Carly or anyone at RMAP for these failings but merely have brought them to light in hopes that RMAP will continue to improve (as they improved in order to become a center of excellence). The complaints seen on the board include not being responsive to calls, unnecessary delays in paperwork, perceived rudeness (at times - no one is saying all the time) from nurses or even perceived poor bedside manner by certain surgeons. Case in point, there are multiple posts on the message board talking about Dr. Smith's perceived lack of caring and poor bedside manner (an opinion not shared by me -- in fact I vehemently countered these claims by my own personal knowledge of Dr. Smith) but yet no one was ever banned for their perceptions.

However, I do take issue with your definition of slander. The dictionary (and the legal world) define slander as a malicious, false, and defamatory statement or report (i.e., a slander against his/her good name). If a comment is true, if it is not malicious, and if it is not defamatory, it cannot be slander. I have never written a post that could be classified as slander (as I have never posted anything that wasn't (a) true; (b) defamatory; or (c) malicious).

I can guarantee that you never read the post in question. I actually have a copy of it. If you had, you would have read my accounting of my phone call with Carly that day. It did not say she was unable to do her job, it did not say anything bad about her at all. It stated that I hoped that RMAP had room for improvement in the customer service area and I hoped that they would continue to improve there. It was not a personal attack on Carly a fact that everyone on the board (other than Carly) who read it shares. As for the phone call between Carly and myself, there was no courtesy involved. I did not ask for Dr. Smith's time. I told Carly that I did not "need" an appointment with Dr. Smith as everything was fine but since he had "asked" me to check in with him after 6 months about where my weight was, I wanted to know if he really needed to see me. Though I rephrased this question three separate times, Carly completely ignored the request and merely repeated that if I came in I would have to pay for the visit. There was no attempt to set up a block of time. My post reflected that and also made the jump in logic that it would have been nice if she would have just asked Dr. Smith if he wanted to see me due to this or if we were good. Now, since I know you are obviously going to lean towards the side of your colleague (why wouldn't you, you don't know me but you work with her) I know you'll dismiss my statements. That's fine. However, since the incident, I have had several (unsolicited) people contact me and leave me comments about Carly. Every single one of them have brought up her need to improve on her courtesy and customer service skills. None of them (mine included) have said she is a bad person. There has been no slander. And to ban people who point out flaws in the hope for improvement is merely to turn a blind eye to an area that can make RMAP (as a whole) better.

Anyway... the only reason I related that to you was to let you know why I am no longer providing support for RMAP patients via the message board. It wasn't to argue my side or to convince you that I should be reinstated. I was on the board as a way to give back to RMAP. It certainly took a great deal of my time but it was something I felt I owed. After all, my mother worked directly with Paula, Dr. Halverson and Dr. Smith which is why I went with RMAP in the first place. I have posted in several forums my direct knowledge of Dr. Smith's excellence as a surgeon (based not just on my experience but from my knowledge captured from may places).

My reason for contacting you was to offer my help (if ever needed). It was yet another attempt on my part to give back to RMAP. However, if it's not wanted or needed, that's fine. One day I hope Carly will recognize that I never harbored any ill will towards her and that the only malicious thing that happened on the message board was her banning me for leaving a post that she took personal but was actually not personal.

Anyway, enjoy your weekend.

Sean