I was scrolling down on my blog and happened to look on the right side at my pictures. WOW!!! It's amazing to think how large I was not overly long ago. I owe everything to Dr. Smith for performing my surgery and the person who invented Roux-en Y. I'll say it again... WOW!!! A brand new life. The life I always wanted. I just wish it could have come 20 years before it did. Oh well, I will enjoy it now for the rest of my life.
How people look at me differently
The choices in life that are now available to me
The things I always wanted to do that I can do now
Etc., etc., etc.
So amazing. I would love to hear from all of you. How blown is your mind with what is or has happened to you because of WLS?
Weight Loss
My Playlist
Monday, March 30, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Random Blogging
Have you ever been the first one you know to start listening to a band and then have someone you don't really like get into them and it kind of ruins it a bit? Yes, I'm being a little vague but that just happened to me with The Veronicas. I've been listening to them FOREVER but recently the luster was taken off just a little. Oh well, it couldn't last forever.
Anyway, I'm getting ready to head out to Chicago again; however, I wanted to leave you a little bit of advice. As you know (by my previous post), I went above my scary weight (all the way to 231 lbs). However, when I weighed this morning, I was at 227.8 lbs. Wow, right?! How did it happen? It's all about the water. I started drinking a ton of water and released all the water I was retaining. Now if I can just hold on through this next trip.
Faithy-Bears birthday is on Monday and I'll be in Chicago. It's a little sad but I don't have her on her birthday this year anyway. I do, however, get to celebrate her birthday tomorrow (Sunday). I have her most of the day. We'll go hang out at the movies and do a family dinner. It's probably going to be sucky weather or else we'd probably go out for a bike ride too. She's such an amazing girl -- a fact I tell her all the time. She's brilliant, beautiful, and so funny. You might think that I'm a little bias (and perhaps I am) but these three facts are repeated by anyone who meets her.
Anyway everyone, I'll try to blog while I'm in Chicago (I'm out to take a picture of the front of Wrigley this time and hopefully make it to the art museum). Take care and keep working hard. Remember that the journey is a lifetime so don't beat yourself up over a mistake here and there, just try hard to do better the next time. And if you get too down, listen to the song "Move, Shake, Drop." It always pumps me up.
Sean
Anyway, I'm getting ready to head out to Chicago again; however, I wanted to leave you a little bit of advice. As you know (by my previous post), I went above my scary weight (all the way to 231 lbs). However, when I weighed this morning, I was at 227.8 lbs. Wow, right?! How did it happen? It's all about the water. I started drinking a ton of water and released all the water I was retaining. Now if I can just hold on through this next trip.
Faithy-Bears birthday is on Monday and I'll be in Chicago. It's a little sad but I don't have her on her birthday this year anyway. I do, however, get to celebrate her birthday tomorrow (Sunday). I have her most of the day. We'll go hang out at the movies and do a family dinner. It's probably going to be sucky weather or else we'd probably go out for a bike ride too. She's such an amazing girl -- a fact I tell her all the time. She's brilliant, beautiful, and so funny. You might think that I'm a little bias (and perhaps I am) but these three facts are repeated by anyone who meets her.
Anyway everyone, I'll try to blog while I'm in Chicago (I'm out to take a picture of the front of Wrigley this time and hopefully make it to the art museum). Take care and keep working hard. Remember that the journey is a lifetime so don't beat yourself up over a mistake here and there, just try hard to do better the next time. And if you get too down, listen to the song "Move, Shake, Drop." It always pumps me up.
Sean
Friday, March 27, 2009
My trip and weight gain
I just got back from my weeklong business trip to Chicago. I barely have a chance to breathe and I'm out again (Monday morning) headed back to Chi-town. I love Chicago and I love that I get to travel for my job. However, there is one thing I hate. Everytime I travel, I gain weight. Oh I tried really really hard this last trip to eat decent. I think I did a good job. And I walked everywhere so I got a lot of exercise. But yet I'm now up to 231 lbs. 1 lb over my scary weight. Dammit!
I know I'll get back down but it's always frustrating. But I realize that I have to be forever vigilant and always readjust my water and food intake as well as my exercise type and level in order to maintain my goal weight. It's not always easy but I've been on the extreme upper end. I know how I felt then compared to how I feel now. I know how happy I was when I got down to 225 lbs for the first time. It's all worth it and it's worth it to continue working on my diet and exercise to keep myself here.
It's all worth it!!!!!
I know I'll get back down but it's always frustrating. But I realize that I have to be forever vigilant and always readjust my water and food intake as well as my exercise type and level in order to maintain my goal weight. It's not always easy but I've been on the extreme upper end. I know how I felt then compared to how I feel now. I know how happy I was when I got down to 225 lbs for the first time. It's all worth it and it's worth it to continue working on my diet and exercise to keep myself here.
It's all worth it!!!!!
Monday, March 23, 2009
Chicago: Weight loss/gain on trips out of town
I love business trips for everything other than weight maintenance. I'm in Chicago, easily the coolest city I've ever been to, and I'm struggling to eat right. Grrrr! I was up to 229 lbs the morning before I left (3/22/09), let's see what I can do over the next three days so on Friday (first morning back) if I can't say I lose (or at least maintained). Wish me luck.
I'll get back down to 225 lbs but I have to say that I didn't think it would be so hard to maintain my weight once I got down here. The biggest problem is that I can eat so much more and I can eat anything I want. That means that I need to use all the skills and new eating habits I learned during the weight loss phase and be like all those skinny people I've been around my entire life. I can do it, just need to always stay vigilent. Can't afford to stop paying attention to what I eat, how I exercise and how I control my caloric intake.
Anyway, I'm off to run around Chicago for a bit. I'll try to write more later on in the week.
Sean
I'll get back down to 225 lbs but I have to say that I didn't think it would be so hard to maintain my weight once I got down here. The biggest problem is that I can eat so much more and I can eat anything I want. That means that I need to use all the skills and new eating habits I learned during the weight loss phase and be like all those skinny people I've been around my entire life. I can do it, just need to always stay vigilent. Can't afford to stop paying attention to what I eat, how I exercise and how I control my caloric intake.
Anyway, I'm off to run around Chicago for a bit. I'll try to write more later on in the week.
Sean
Friday, March 20, 2009
Sam's Club / Stress Eating
So today I visited Sam's Club. OMG! I love Sam's Club. 3 boxes of my protein bars (Premier Nutrition - 30 grams of protein each). 15 bars per box for just over $14. Also purchased (for the first time), the EAS protein shakes. 18 count, almost $25. Also found some trail mix that isn't too bad at all -- really just the fat content but I'm not worried about that... especially if I keep it under control (how much of it I eat). I'll take a bunch with me to Chicago next week.
Anyway, so today's update is about stress. I've been MEGA (yes I repeat MEGA) stressed for the entire month of March. Work has been insane. But I'm finally almost at the light at the end of the tunnel. April 6th is the day when I think I'll be through everything with work and my life that has me running non-stop.
What I've noticed is a HUGE tendency to cheat with simple carbs (especially sugar -- candies). Soooo bad. It's almost a subconscious thing. It hasn't hit me too hard (hopefully that's because I've been fighting the good fight and not because it will hit me later) in the weight department. I need to watch the stress eating. Such a bad area for me. Definitely needs work.
Anyway, I'm sure I'll be posting from Chicago to let you know how the food and give you some highlights from Chi-town. This is the first of two trips over the next two weeks and in between is my beautiful daughter's birthday.
Enjoy the weather, my friends!! My daughter, Faith, and I will be enjoying our mountain bikes a lot this weekend. She's all psyched to go out. We fixed her bike up last night (brakes needed some tweaking and new pads had to be installed). So if you see us out on the road, try not to hit us but honk and give us a wave.
Sean
Anyway, so today's update is about stress. I've been MEGA (yes I repeat MEGA) stressed for the entire month of March. Work has been insane. But I'm finally almost at the light at the end of the tunnel. April 6th is the day when I think I'll be through everything with work and my life that has me running non-stop.
What I've noticed is a HUGE tendency to cheat with simple carbs (especially sugar -- candies). Soooo bad. It's almost a subconscious thing. It hasn't hit me too hard (hopefully that's because I've been fighting the good fight and not because it will hit me later) in the weight department. I need to watch the stress eating. Such a bad area for me. Definitely needs work.
Anyway, I'm sure I'll be posting from Chicago to let you know how the food and give you some highlights from Chi-town. This is the first of two trips over the next two weeks and in between is my beautiful daughter's birthday.
Enjoy the weather, my friends!! My daughter, Faith, and I will be enjoying our mountain bikes a lot this weekend. She's all psyched to go out. We fixed her bike up last night (brakes needed some tweaking and new pads had to be installed). So if you see us out on the road, try not to hit us but honk and give us a wave.
Sean
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Current Dilemma
Okay, so I got back down to 225 lbs and then for some reason I fell off the wagon and now I'm back up 4 lbs. Grrrr. So I'm too close to my scary weight for comfort. Today I reaffirmed my committment to not cheat on my eating. I certainly wasn't perfect but I did do better. But now I'm going through carbohydrate withdrawal. I hate that! I will never know why I continue to fall into this trap but yet I do. The good part is that I know I can drop the weight again and get back to where I want to be. The bad part is that this shows me how easy it would be for me to gain weight and go back up again. Eeek! I don't want that. Five years from now I want to be at 225 lbs still. Even lighter depending on how much weight comes off when I have plastic surgery.
Anyway. I realized today that you can adjust your preferences on blogspot.com if you're a registered user and follow my blog. Several people do that already (as I found out the other day) and so they get automatic updates.
Which reminds me. I really want to hear your stories. Email them to me. Please.
Sean
Anyway. I realized today that you can adjust your preferences on blogspot.com if you're a registered user and follow my blog. Several people do that already (as I found out the other day) and so they get automatic updates.
Which reminds me. I really want to hear your stories. Email them to me. Please.
Sean
Sunday, March 15, 2009
MUSIC!!!!
Okay everyone, I need your help. I've added a sampling of my musical tastes to my blog. If you add to it the hiphop song "Move, Shake, Drop" you really have a good idea of what my daughter and I listen to. With that said, I need your help to identify more music that I'll like. So please!!!! Take a moment and listen to the music here on my blog and if you have similar type music that you listen to, please email me a list of your musical suggestions.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Keeping Busy
You know, it's funny. When I'm busy I don't have as much of a time staying on the diet but I have a much more difficult time getting my water in. When I'm not busy, the reverse is true (obviously). I decided yesterday that the solution here is to stay busy but run around with an IV in so I can continually hydrate myself without thinking about it. *laughs*
My plastic surgeon (surgery in just over a month) has me taking a multi-vitamin twice a day to get my skin as healthy as possible before the surgery. I've upped my B12 supplement as well to make sure that nothing dips down below where it should be prior to the experience. I guess I should invest in a B-complex to make sure the other B vitamins (specifically B1 or Thiamine) doesn't get low.
I'm excited about having a lot of my excess fat/skin removed especially in the abdomen area though I'm not really looking forward to the recovery time. Recovery from gastric bypass, while not super long, cured me of any desire to go through a recovery period on anything. But I expect to have two plastic surgeries, at the end of which (once recovery is done) my total weight loss adventure will be over and the rest of my life will be enjoyment of being where I've always wanted to be and working to stay there. So..... I'm excited.
I would love to hear from more of you ... your stories, how all of this has affected you, and what you enjoy the most or are looking forward to the most. My email address is in my profile which you can access by clicking on the link over by my profile picture.
Sean
My plastic surgeon (surgery in just over a month) has me taking a multi-vitamin twice a day to get my skin as healthy as possible before the surgery. I've upped my B12 supplement as well to make sure that nothing dips down below where it should be prior to the experience. I guess I should invest in a B-complex to make sure the other B vitamins (specifically B1 or Thiamine) doesn't get low.
I'm excited about having a lot of my excess fat/skin removed especially in the abdomen area though I'm not really looking forward to the recovery time. Recovery from gastric bypass, while not super long, cured me of any desire to go through a recovery period on anything. But I expect to have two plastic surgeries, at the end of which (once recovery is done) my total weight loss adventure will be over and the rest of my life will be enjoyment of being where I've always wanted to be and working to stay there. So..... I'm excited.
I would love to hear from more of you ... your stories, how all of this has affected you, and what you enjoy the most or are looking forward to the most. My email address is in my profile which you can access by clicking on the link over by my profile picture.
Sean
What? Me Exercise?
So yesterday I had worked on putting together the elliptical machine delivered on Thursday by NordicTrack. Hours later when it was basically put together, the last thing I wanted to do was try it out. It was a workout putting the thing together. And guess what? It takes two people so I had to work with my brother to get it. One of the screws at the base wouldn't go in the right way because the hole they had drilled in the two metal pieces didn't align correctly. Fortunately I'm good at puzzles so we put it in backwards and it worked well that way. Definitely one of the most frustrating pieces of equipment I've ever had the *cough* pleasure to put together. I seriously am tempted to call NordicTrack and give them a piece of my mind. Anyway, so a new era starts. I have an elliptical, new cross trainer (hiking/walking) shoes, and a mountain bike. That should keep me plenty busy through the summer and beyond. I'm kind of excited. I've drug my daughter into the fray. She has her own mountain bike and new shoes and together we've already started having fun. She loves going biking with her dad and is always asking me if we can go and disappointed when it ends.
One thing that I've heard about from a lot of you is that you hate exercise. Well... I'm right there with you. I bought a Gold's Gym membership but absolutely hated it. Let's face it, I'm not going to be a gym rat. But I needed to find something and this has me on the right track. As I get going, I know I'm going to augment my equipment with some dumbbells and at least a padded mat for crunches (if not a core ball). But all in its own time. I have found a few things that I will do, in places that I will do them. Stay tune. I'll keep you updated as to how it ends up working out but so far it's looking good.
Sean
One thing that I've heard about from a lot of you is that you hate exercise. Well... I'm right there with you. I bought a Gold's Gym membership but absolutely hated it. Let's face it, I'm not going to be a gym rat. But I needed to find something and this has me on the right track. As I get going, I know I'm going to augment my equipment with some dumbbells and at least a padded mat for crunches (if not a core ball). But all in its own time. I have found a few things that I will do, in places that I will do them. Stay tune. I'll keep you updated as to how it ends up working out but so far it's looking good.
Sean
And I'm Back....
For those of you who haven't discovered it yet, Ray Wilde, the office manager over at Rocky Mountain Associated Physicians and I had a phone conversation a couple of weeks back. Being able to have a frank discussion about what actually happened on the board brought a quick resolution and Ray has reinstated me to the RMAP message board. I don't know if it will ever truly be the same (do wounds ever heal 100%?) but I've started messaging there again.
I hope you'll continue to follow my blog as there will be more personal experiences here but I invite you to also join me on the RMAP board if you are so inclined.
I hope you'll continue to follow my blog as there will be more personal experiences here but I invite you to also join me on the RMAP board if you are so inclined.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Update
Okay for those of you who have been asking me what's going on with everything, here's a big update:
1. No, I still haven't heard back from Ray Wilde, the office manager over at Rocky Mountain Associated Physicians. I haven't lost hope yet but at this point we are a couple days past when I was supposed to hear from him.
2. My plastic surgery is coming up in about 5 weeks. I'm a little nervous about it only because I keep thinking... what if I made a mistake with the surgeon I chose? I don't think I did ... I'm thinking it's just normal jitters.
3. I had my back molar worked on back on Tuesday and I'm wearing a temporary crown for the next 3 weeks. This means I can't eat anything hard to chew (i.e., beef jerky, nuts) or anything sticky (i.e., gum, chewy candy). So far this has proven to be a bonus. Who knows, in 3 weeks, I could lose another 5 or so pounds. *lol*
4. I bought a mountain bike from REI. As a REI member, I was able to use my 20% off dividend (only for the Navarro bikes) and get one for a really good price. I've been out biking with my daughter a few times already and I'm hoping the weather will hurry up and warm up so we can go more often. It's amazing how much I like going out in public now. I don't feel all self-conscious biking along the edge of the road now whereas before I hated even walking on the side of the road because I could have sworn everyone looked at me because of my size.
Other than that, all is well. Life continues to progress and get better with every day. Thank you everyone for keeping in touch and being such a great support system for me. I appreciate every one of you.
Sean
1. No, I still haven't heard back from Ray Wilde, the office manager over at Rocky Mountain Associated Physicians. I haven't lost hope yet but at this point we are a couple days past when I was supposed to hear from him.
2. My plastic surgery is coming up in about 5 weeks. I'm a little nervous about it only because I keep thinking... what if I made a mistake with the surgeon I chose? I don't think I did ... I'm thinking it's just normal jitters.
3. I had my back molar worked on back on Tuesday and I'm wearing a temporary crown for the next 3 weeks. This means I can't eat anything hard to chew (i.e., beef jerky, nuts) or anything sticky (i.e., gum, chewy candy). So far this has proven to be a bonus. Who knows, in 3 weeks, I could lose another 5 or so pounds. *lol*
4. I bought a mountain bike from REI. As a REI member, I was able to use my 20% off dividend (only for the Navarro bikes) and get one for a really good price. I've been out biking with my daughter a few times already and I'm hoping the weather will hurry up and warm up so we can go more often. It's amazing how much I like going out in public now. I don't feel all self-conscious biking along the edge of the road now whereas before I hated even walking on the side of the road because I could have sworn everyone looked at me because of my size.
Other than that, all is well. Life continues to progress and get better with every day. Thank you everyone for keeping in touch and being such a great support system for me. I appreciate every one of you.
Sean
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
RMAP: Ray Wilde
I meant to post this earlier but I haven't had time yet. Last week I talked to Ray Wilde, the office manager for Rocky Mountain Associated Physicians about the issue that occurred between Carly and myself. I'm pretty sure I already posted about it. At the end part of the week, I followed that up with an email to him (per his request) outlining my perspective on the entire situation. He was supposed to get back to me by yesterday and I haven't heard from him yet but I am still hopeful. I would like to continue working with RMAP and I remain in disbelief that by relating what I thought was a small negative experience snowballed into me being banned from the message boards and into something that now involves Meredith and Ray. I never thought telling a story could have such an impact.
Anyway, two days ago a friend of mine (RMAP patient) started experiencing strong pain in her rib area. Yesterday she called RMAP and talked to Carly. Carly contacted Dr. Smith and Dr. Smith talked to her and she ended up going to the hospital where they operated and fixed the problem (I won't get too detailed because that's her story to tell). Anyway, as she related this story to me, I thought about what I would do if in the same position. Due to this situation, I don't know whereas I would be comfortable calling RMAP which irritates me. It irritates me because I had no malicious intent at relating my negative experience. I didn't even think it was that much of a negative experience. It was just relevant to the conversation going on in the forum at the time and fit the topic of the post which was saying that the one area RMAP could improve in was customer service. I stated in that post, however, how great I think RMAP is.
Oh well. Hopefully I'll hear from Ray and this issue can become a thing of the past. It would be nice to feel again like if something were to go wrong I could feel comfortable in calling RMAP.
Sean
Anyway, two days ago a friend of mine (RMAP patient) started experiencing strong pain in her rib area. Yesterday she called RMAP and talked to Carly. Carly contacted Dr. Smith and Dr. Smith talked to her and she ended up going to the hospital where they operated and fixed the problem (I won't get too detailed because that's her story to tell). Anyway, as she related this story to me, I thought about what I would do if in the same position. Due to this situation, I don't know whereas I would be comfortable calling RMAP which irritates me. It irritates me because I had no malicious intent at relating my negative experience. I didn't even think it was that much of a negative experience. It was just relevant to the conversation going on in the forum at the time and fit the topic of the post which was saying that the one area RMAP could improve in was customer service. I stated in that post, however, how great I think RMAP is.
Oh well. Hopefully I'll hear from Ray and this issue can become a thing of the past. It would be nice to feel again like if something were to go wrong I could feel comfortable in calling RMAP.
Sean
Plastic Surgery
I'm getting excited about my upcoming plastic surgery with Dr. Scott Haupt. I'm going to have to stage this into two separate operations but the first is going to be the most extensive and do, in a way, the more exciting of the two. This first one will remove the excess skin from my upper arms, thighs and abdomen. Yay!!!!
I'm so excited that I can't even explain it. I can't wait until I can come back and leave a post tell you all about it and how I feel about having a flat stomach (without excess skin) for the first time ever).
Stay tuned!
I'm so excited that I can't even explain it. I can't wait until I can come back and leave a post tell you all about it and how I feel about having a flat stomach (without excess skin) for the first time ever).
Stay tuned!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Food Labels
So here's something new I recently learned:
Because I have made a conscious decision to learn how many carbs, proteins, sugars, fats, calories and dietary fiber is in everything I eat, looking at labels now helps me get past cravings. For example, the other day I was at the store. Before check out, I noticed I was hungry. In fact, I was starving. At the check stand I almost bought potato chips or some candy. It was obvious to me that my blood sugar level was low. I almost bought several different things. Why didn't I? I'd like to say it's because my will power is so strong but that's not it.
I didn't buy them because after each one I picked up, I read the label. When I realized the serving size and how many calories, carbs, sugars, fat were in them, I found myself thinking that if I ate that one thing, it would throw my entire day off. That thought process had me putting the items back and instead thinking of what I could eat -- and it ended up being a lot better for me.
So don't buy into it when you hear people tell you that they don't want or need to pay that close attention to those things. It does help. Perhaps not today but you never know when down the road it will help. A mental food journal or a written one. If you don't do it already, start today.
Sean
Because I have made a conscious decision to learn how many carbs, proteins, sugars, fats, calories and dietary fiber is in everything I eat, looking at labels now helps me get past cravings. For example, the other day I was at the store. Before check out, I noticed I was hungry. In fact, I was starving. At the check stand I almost bought potato chips or some candy. It was obvious to me that my blood sugar level was low. I almost bought several different things. Why didn't I? I'd like to say it's because my will power is so strong but that's not it.
I didn't buy them because after each one I picked up, I read the label. When I realized the serving size and how many calories, carbs, sugars, fat were in them, I found myself thinking that if I ate that one thing, it would throw my entire day off. That thought process had me putting the items back and instead thinking of what I could eat -- and it ended up being a lot better for me.
So don't buy into it when you hear people tell you that they don't want or need to pay that close attention to those things. It does help. Perhaps not today but you never know when down the road it will help. A mental food journal or a written one. If you don't do it already, start today.
Sean
Meredith's Phone Call
Meredith called me this afternoon. We had an interesting phone conversation. Meredith is nice but nothing has changed in her stance or the stance of Rocky Mountain Associated Physician. A quick review:
RMAP believes that I slandered Carly. They state that it is okay to have freedom of expression on their board but apparently when you have that freedom of expression and actually name one of their employees, that's not okay. Nevermind that the post was not a personal attack, but rather me just relating an example where I was frustrated with the customer service of RMAP (like those who had been talking in the forum). I specifically stated in that post (at the end) that I thought highly of RMAP but hoped they would get better at customer service. There was no slander about it. As stated before, here's the definition of slander:
"a malicious, false, and defamatory statement or report: a slander against his good name."
The key here is "false." To be slander, it has to be false. I posted a true story and related my feelings to what happened. Meredith believes that could have been handled behind the scenes. Could it have been? I don't know. Who would I have talked to about it. I can't talk about it now as everyone at RMAP believes Carly's version of the story and certainly don't appear to give any weight to my version. To this date I have never heard one person say "I understand that you just wanted to know if Dr. Smith needed to see you based on his statement 'check back with me in six months.' I understand that you didn't need or really want an appointment unless Dr. Smith determined he really wanted to see you. I apologize that Dr. Smith wasn't consulted as to whether he needed to see you." No. All I continue to get is "Carly was just trying to tell you that you needed to make an appointment to see Dr. Smith." I know. That wasn't what I was asking her then and it's still not what I'm asking (nor is it the story I continue to tell). *sigh*
Anyway, Meredith believes in the above. That's fine. I believe things should be taken in proper context and this totally wasn't. Anyway, Meredith states that an email was sent to me saying that to be reinstated to the board, I would have to write a letter of apology to the surgeons. You have got to be kidding me!! An apology for what? For relating a true happening and openly hoping that it wouldn't happen again?
Okay. So I told Meredith that if she wanted a letter of apology that I would be willing to write one BUT Carly needed to provide me with one as well. Well, let's just say that's not going to happen. Meredith wants RMAP's apology for the incident to be her phone call to me. Okay, well then my apology should be able to be had over the phone as well. You want it in writing, I want one in writing. After all, I didn't create this situation myself -- in fact, I was trying to help when I wrote my post. I certainly didn't expect someone to decide it was a personal attack.
It became obvious on the phone call that Meredith and I weren't going to cover any ground that we hadn't already covered in email. Meredith and RMAP are unwilling to admit that they did anything wrong in regards to this incident. Meredith said that she did not call me evil. This is true. She didn't. But she and Carly make me feel like a criminal and she is trying to mete out some type of punishment in order to make it all better.
So what it comes down to is this: I basically admit that the entire incident is my fault and write a letter of apology to the RMAP surgeons and I can be reinstated to the message boards. Ummm... am I the only one who sees a problem here? By the way, I still find the whole issue of "resolution" to be interesting. So in our email exchanges before, I was told that Meredith's offer to resolve the situation was that I stop posting negative things about Carly. I have NOTHING against Carly. I never did. I actually think Carly is nice though I wish she had taken the time to listen to what I was saying. But how is it a resolution, as Meredith stated on the phone, that if I stop saying negative things about Carly that RMAP will move on and forget the incident? Hmmm. I don't know about you but to me resolution means that when I carry out my side, then the ban is removed. At least that was the assumption I made.
And I thought I was clear but apparently I wasn't. My entire reason for contacting Meredith was to rectify this situation and get things back to where they were. Why? Because of all the wonderful RMAP patients who reached out to me via email and my blog. Those who reached out to me on obesityhelp.com, those who have my cell phone and call me for advice. And those who have formed a help group on Facebook. I love being able to help all of them with personal experiences, things I've learned, etc. RMAP's message board was an easy way to do that. Why else would I reach out?
Anyway, like I said, I believe Meredith's goal was admirable but if RMAP isn't willing to admit to any kind of wrong doing here, then I'm not interested. If Carly wants to deliver a personal apology to me, I am more than willing to deliver a personal apology to everyone within RMAP. If they want me to stop writing about the incident and let bygones be bygones and put things back how they were before the incident, I'm good with that too. But to ask me to say I was the only person who did anything wrong is ridiculous and it isn't going to happen. Because it's not true. My intent with the offending post was not malicious, it was not slanderous, and it was not even detrimental to RMAP. What has been done to me, however...
Anyway, Meredith stated that Ray, the office manager will call me since her and I can't seem to find middle ground. I hope he does but somehow I think he won't. We'll see. Stay tuned. I would like to work this out but I'm not willing to sell my soul for it.
Sean
RMAP believes that I slandered Carly. They state that it is okay to have freedom of expression on their board but apparently when you have that freedom of expression and actually name one of their employees, that's not okay. Nevermind that the post was not a personal attack, but rather me just relating an example where I was frustrated with the customer service of RMAP (like those who had been talking in the forum). I specifically stated in that post (at the end) that I thought highly of RMAP but hoped they would get better at customer service. There was no slander about it. As stated before, here's the definition of slander:
"a malicious, false, and defamatory statement or report: a slander against his good name."
The key here is "false." To be slander, it has to be false. I posted a true story and related my feelings to what happened. Meredith believes that could have been handled behind the scenes. Could it have been? I don't know. Who would I have talked to about it. I can't talk about it now as everyone at RMAP believes Carly's version of the story and certainly don't appear to give any weight to my version. To this date I have never heard one person say "I understand that you just wanted to know if Dr. Smith needed to see you based on his statement 'check back with me in six months.' I understand that you didn't need or really want an appointment unless Dr. Smith determined he really wanted to see you. I apologize that Dr. Smith wasn't consulted as to whether he needed to see you." No. All I continue to get is "Carly was just trying to tell you that you needed to make an appointment to see Dr. Smith." I know. That wasn't what I was asking her then and it's still not what I'm asking (nor is it the story I continue to tell). *sigh*
Anyway, Meredith believes in the above. That's fine. I believe things should be taken in proper context and this totally wasn't. Anyway, Meredith states that an email was sent to me saying that to be reinstated to the board, I would have to write a letter of apology to the surgeons. You have got to be kidding me!! An apology for what? For relating a true happening and openly hoping that it wouldn't happen again?
Okay. So I told Meredith that if she wanted a letter of apology that I would be willing to write one BUT Carly needed to provide me with one as well. Well, let's just say that's not going to happen. Meredith wants RMAP's apology for the incident to be her phone call to me. Okay, well then my apology should be able to be had over the phone as well. You want it in writing, I want one in writing. After all, I didn't create this situation myself -- in fact, I was trying to help when I wrote my post. I certainly didn't expect someone to decide it was a personal attack.
It became obvious on the phone call that Meredith and I weren't going to cover any ground that we hadn't already covered in email. Meredith and RMAP are unwilling to admit that they did anything wrong in regards to this incident. Meredith said that she did not call me evil. This is true. She didn't. But she and Carly make me feel like a criminal and she is trying to mete out some type of punishment in order to make it all better.
So what it comes down to is this: I basically admit that the entire incident is my fault and write a letter of apology to the RMAP surgeons and I can be reinstated to the message boards. Ummm... am I the only one who sees a problem here? By the way, I still find the whole issue of "resolution" to be interesting. So in our email exchanges before, I was told that Meredith's offer to resolve the situation was that I stop posting negative things about Carly. I have NOTHING against Carly. I never did. I actually think Carly is nice though I wish she had taken the time to listen to what I was saying. But how is it a resolution, as Meredith stated on the phone, that if I stop saying negative things about Carly that RMAP will move on and forget the incident? Hmmm. I don't know about you but to me resolution means that when I carry out my side, then the ban is removed. At least that was the assumption I made.
And I thought I was clear but apparently I wasn't. My entire reason for contacting Meredith was to rectify this situation and get things back to where they were. Why? Because of all the wonderful RMAP patients who reached out to me via email and my blog. Those who reached out to me on obesityhelp.com, those who have my cell phone and call me for advice. And those who have formed a help group on Facebook. I love being able to help all of them with personal experiences, things I've learned, etc. RMAP's message board was an easy way to do that. Why else would I reach out?
Anyway, like I said, I believe Meredith's goal was admirable but if RMAP isn't willing to admit to any kind of wrong doing here, then I'm not interested. If Carly wants to deliver a personal apology to me, I am more than willing to deliver a personal apology to everyone within RMAP. If they want me to stop writing about the incident and let bygones be bygones and put things back how they were before the incident, I'm good with that too. But to ask me to say I was the only person who did anything wrong is ridiculous and it isn't going to happen. Because it's not true. My intent with the offending post was not malicious, it was not slanderous, and it was not even detrimental to RMAP. What has been done to me, however...
Anyway, Meredith stated that Ray, the office manager will call me since her and I can't seem to find middle ground. I hope he does but somehow I think he won't. We'll see. Stay tuned. I would like to work this out but I'm not willing to sell my soul for it.
Sean
Monday, March 2, 2009
My Response to Meredith
Meredith.
I was unable to respond to your call/voicemail today because I am out of the state on business. In fact, I just got back to the hotel room. But from the sounds of your email it doesn't sound like I need to call you tomorrow. Like your other emails, it appears you're being very biased on this subject and though you're being relatively nice in your emails, I fail to see where you're offering any type of resolution.
What I would like to point out is that this isn't about me, it isn't about Carly. It's about RMAP. My post that I got banned for wasn't about me, it wasn't about Carly. It was a request for RMAP to get better in a certain area. This is a complaint brought up by many patients and has been sooooo evident. The post was left out of a desire for RMAP to get better and to be the best. Carly took it personal and there was no reason to. But that's not how you choose to see it though many many patients read that and agree with that.
However, I'm glad you have a flood of anger and are upset by my words. Perhaps that finally gives you insight into my situation. Here for over 18 months I spent my free time to give back to RMAP, to be there for their patients, to give back because of this gift I was given. I defended the RMAP surgeons when they were attacked by patients on the message boards, I soothed things over when former patients complained about how horrible gastric bypass surgery was to them or when they complained about the educational program, how they felt the $500 educational fee was a waste or how unresponsive they felt the office was. I have carried the RMAP flag higher than was ever expected of me and drove as many patients to RMAP as possible.
Then I had a negative experience with Carly. I didn't say anything for a long time then it became relevant in a post. The whole point of the post was not to degrade Carly. You never read the post. If you had, you would have seen that I merely suggested that RMAP could improve on the customer service side. Yes if I was Carly that would have been hard to take but I would never have banned anyone for relaying a negative experience and their perception. I wouldn't try to call it slander when it doesn't come close to the definition of the word. I would have taken a hard look at the experience, perhaps talked to the person if necessary, maybe even addressed it. I wouldn't have run from it. But that's just me.
You never, in any of your emails to me stated that RMAP wanted a letter of apology. And honestly Meredith, the situation between Carly and I was the banning from the boards. You offered a resolution to that. Offering a resolution means that if one side follows through on their side of things, the other side does as well. So please... don't say that you followed through on yours. I made it clear in my initial email that I was addressing the ban from the message boards. You offered a resolution that I accepted. You reneged. It's as simple as that. If you want to talk about slander, how about the slander that RMAP has thrown my way? You accepting Carly's version of what happened without reading the emails other patients have left about it stating quite the opposite or even reading the post in and of itself. And did you expect that by telling me that Carly is the victim and I'm some hate mongering individual who is into slander was not going to offend me? Much like you, I've tried to keep the anger out of it.
I reached out to you in hopes that this situation could be resolved. Your proposed resolution was fine. I wanted to just let bygones be bygones and go back to flying the RMAP colors. But I guess that isnt' good enough. Now you want to exact a piece of flesh. I'm sorry but I've given up the days of when I was willing to let people walk over me. I am owed a written apology from Carly that specifically lets me know she understands what she is apologizing for. If I get that, I would be more than willing to provide a written apology to the surgeons and Carly herself and spend my days praising everyone at RMAP. But since that isn't going to happen, I don't have to worry about that, do I? Right. Because neither you nor Carly believe there is any wrongdoing on your part.
You are always welcome to call me. If I am able to answer, I'm always willing to talk. But if this is just going to spin wheels, then I'm not interested. I am active in the legislature and the medical community with gastric bypass and trying to get more insurances to pay for it (through passed bills, etc). I actively offer support of past patients and love it. If it's not going to be through the RMAP board, it will be somewhere.
I do not feel it is appropriate to ask a patient to apologize for relaying a true story and voicing his/her frustrations. It also isn't appropriate to label that patient as a slanderer. It's obvious how RMAP has positioned themselves. If I felt that it would do any good to talk to you about this on the phone, I would. But at this point I don't see how the two sides are able reconcile. Your resolution was for me not to say anything negative about Carly anymore. I agreed. The fact that you offered a "resolution" to the situation implies that any punishment would be rescinded. It was not. It is obvious that you feel that I owe an apology. I personally believe that I have been unjustly vilified and that I am owed an apology for having been put in this position and being slandered myself (and in this case the word fits).
I am sad to see RMAP take this position. I was certainly willing to work with RMAP and try to make some good will out of this. I am a big believer in the gastric bypass surgery and I am a huge advocate in the legislative sessions as we try to pass bills that will cause the insurance companies to pay for this surgery whenever medically necessary and I also, through my mother's past connections as well as my own, work within the medical community. I am reaching out to more and more obese people and past patients every day and I do give recommends. I would have always preferred those recommends be to RMAP but I cannot in good conscience continue to recommend anyone to a practice that condones this type of action. A practice should not fear its shortcomings but rather should realize that all practices have flaws and that bringing those flaws into light allow that practice to grow and become greater and stronger than before. If RMAP is not willing to do that, if they seek to always hide anything negative, no matter how true it might be, then it is not the practice that I thought it was.
Take care Meredith. Contrary to what you might believe, I harbor no ill will. It was my hope that you would come into this situation unbiased and allow a peaceful compromise take place between myself and Carly that would allow me to continue to help RMAP patients as I have tried to do for well over a year. I am somewhat dismayed that my efforts will need to take a different direction now. Please let your surgeons know that I will always speak very highly of them but that this situation makes it impossible for me to recommend their practice.
Thanks.
Sean
I was unable to respond to your call/voicemail today because I am out of the state on business. In fact, I just got back to the hotel room. But from the sounds of your email it doesn't sound like I need to call you tomorrow. Like your other emails, it appears you're being very biased on this subject and though you're being relatively nice in your emails, I fail to see where you're offering any type of resolution.
What I would like to point out is that this isn't about me, it isn't about Carly. It's about RMAP. My post that I got banned for wasn't about me, it wasn't about Carly. It was a request for RMAP to get better in a certain area. This is a complaint brought up by many patients and has been sooooo evident. The post was left out of a desire for RMAP to get better and to be the best. Carly took it personal and there was no reason to. But that's not how you choose to see it though many many patients read that and agree with that.
However, I'm glad you have a flood of anger and are upset by my words. Perhaps that finally gives you insight into my situation. Here for over 18 months I spent my free time to give back to RMAP, to be there for their patients, to give back because of this gift I was given. I defended the RMAP surgeons when they were attacked by patients on the message boards, I soothed things over when former patients complained about how horrible gastric bypass surgery was to them or when they complained about the educational program, how they felt the $500 educational fee was a waste or how unresponsive they felt the office was. I have carried the RMAP flag higher than was ever expected of me and drove as many patients to RMAP as possible.
Then I had a negative experience with Carly. I didn't say anything for a long time then it became relevant in a post. The whole point of the post was not to degrade Carly. You never read the post. If you had, you would have seen that I merely suggested that RMAP could improve on the customer service side. Yes if I was Carly that would have been hard to take but I would never have banned anyone for relaying a negative experience and their perception. I wouldn't try to call it slander when it doesn't come close to the definition of the word. I would have taken a hard look at the experience, perhaps talked to the person if necessary, maybe even addressed it. I wouldn't have run from it. But that's just me.
You never, in any of your emails to me stated that RMAP wanted a letter of apology. And honestly Meredith, the situation between Carly and I was the banning from the boards. You offered a resolution to that. Offering a resolution means that if one side follows through on their side of things, the other side does as well. So please... don't say that you followed through on yours. I made it clear in my initial email that I was addressing the ban from the message boards. You offered a resolution that I accepted. You reneged. It's as simple as that. If you want to talk about slander, how about the slander that RMAP has thrown my way? You accepting Carly's version of what happened without reading the emails other patients have left about it stating quite the opposite or even reading the post in and of itself. And did you expect that by telling me that Carly is the victim and I'm some hate mongering individual who is into slander was not going to offend me? Much like you, I've tried to keep the anger out of it.
I reached out to you in hopes that this situation could be resolved. Your proposed resolution was fine. I wanted to just let bygones be bygones and go back to flying the RMAP colors. But I guess that isnt' good enough. Now you want to exact a piece of flesh. I'm sorry but I've given up the days of when I was willing to let people walk over me. I am owed a written apology from Carly that specifically lets me know she understands what she is apologizing for. If I get that, I would be more than willing to provide a written apology to the surgeons and Carly herself and spend my days praising everyone at RMAP. But since that isn't going to happen, I don't have to worry about that, do I? Right. Because neither you nor Carly believe there is any wrongdoing on your part.
You are always welcome to call me. If I am able to answer, I'm always willing to talk. But if this is just going to spin wheels, then I'm not interested. I am active in the legislature and the medical community with gastric bypass and trying to get more insurances to pay for it (through passed bills, etc). I actively offer support of past patients and love it. If it's not going to be through the RMAP board, it will be somewhere.
I do not feel it is appropriate to ask a patient to apologize for relaying a true story and voicing his/her frustrations. It also isn't appropriate to label that patient as a slanderer. It's obvious how RMAP has positioned themselves. If I felt that it would do any good to talk to you about this on the phone, I would. But at this point I don't see how the two sides are able reconcile. Your resolution was for me not to say anything negative about Carly anymore. I agreed. The fact that you offered a "resolution" to the situation implies that any punishment would be rescinded. It was not. It is obvious that you feel that I owe an apology. I personally believe that I have been unjustly vilified and that I am owed an apology for having been put in this position and being slandered myself (and in this case the word fits).
I am sad to see RMAP take this position. I was certainly willing to work with RMAP and try to make some good will out of this. I am a big believer in the gastric bypass surgery and I am a huge advocate in the legislative sessions as we try to pass bills that will cause the insurance companies to pay for this surgery whenever medically necessary and I also, through my mother's past connections as well as my own, work within the medical community. I am reaching out to more and more obese people and past patients every day and I do give recommends. I would have always preferred those recommends be to RMAP but I cannot in good conscience continue to recommend anyone to a practice that condones this type of action. A practice should not fear its shortcomings but rather should realize that all practices have flaws and that bringing those flaws into light allow that practice to grow and become greater and stronger than before. If RMAP is not willing to do that, if they seek to always hide anything negative, no matter how true it might be, then it is not the practice that I thought it was.
Take care Meredith. Contrary to what you might believe, I harbor no ill will. It was my hope that you would come into this situation unbiased and allow a peaceful compromise take place between myself and Carly that would allow me to continue to help RMAP patients as I have tried to do for well over a year. I am somewhat dismayed that my efforts will need to take a different direction now. Please let your surgeons know that I will always speak very highly of them but that this situation makes it impossible for me to recommend their practice.
Thanks.
Sean
New Email from Meredith
Meredith called and left me a voicemail today. I was unable to take the call or return her call today because of work but after her email (see below), I don't see any reason for making that call. I'll post my reply after this but it's obvious that this is going nowhere. It's sad. It would have been nice to have resolved this and let bygones be bygones but oh well. (btw, let me ask you, when the "banning" is the issue and someone offers a resolution, wouldn't you think that implies a reversal of the banning? As you read Meredith's email, ask yourself that question).
Sean,
I called you and left a voicemail today wanting to speak with you regarding our current miscommunications. I would prefer to speak over the phone or in our office; however, it appears e-mail is your correspondence medium of choice.
First of all, I really appreciate the second follow-up e-mail to your previous one this morning. I feel I must speak honestly and I need to let you know I was quite offended by your words. I feel I have been trying my absolute hardest to appease the situation and keep anger at bay. I hope you can recognize that.
Second of all, it appears some mind-reading has been occurring on both of our parts. In my resolution with Carley, nowhere did I state part of the deal was to reinstate you to the boards. I apologize if you ever felt differently. When you offered your help to current and future RMAP patients, I assumed you meant in a different educational capacity, i.e. support group. It appears when you offered your services to us, you meant to be reinstated to the boards. This is a miscommunication that I do hope we can resolve.
In your previous contact with RMAP, we made it clear to you that in order for forum reinstatement to occur, a letter of apology addressed to the surgeons would be necessary. Because that has not happened, we must still stand by our decision to not allow you to post on our forums. I know this is difficult for you, and is not the resolution you were hoping for; please know I understand that.
I feel I have very much so stood by my word, as RMAP has moved on from the situation. I do not see where we have fallen short of that promise. I also do not see how I have pushed you away, as I gladly accepted your offer to help RMAP patients in the future in my very first e-mail to you. Again, I apologize for that miscommunication.
We have support group every month and I do not see a better place to start helping RMAP patients than our support group. Your $500 fee for education goes to support group; it is up to you whether or not you utilize the resource.
Due to our history of misunderstanding one another through e-mail, I recommend that we either speak over the phone or in person to further resolve the issue, if you would like.
Thank you,
Meredith, RN
Education Director
Sean,
I called you and left a voicemail today wanting to speak with you regarding our current miscommunications. I would prefer to speak over the phone or in our office; however, it appears e-mail is your correspondence medium of choice.
First of all, I really appreciate the second follow-up e-mail to your previous one this morning. I feel I must speak honestly and I need to let you know I was quite offended by your words. I feel I have been trying my absolute hardest to appease the situation and keep anger at bay. I hope you can recognize that.
Second of all, it appears some mind-reading has been occurring on both of our parts. In my resolution with Carley, nowhere did I state part of the deal was to reinstate you to the boards. I apologize if you ever felt differently. When you offered your help to current and future RMAP patients, I assumed you meant in a different educational capacity, i.e. support group. It appears when you offered your services to us, you meant to be reinstated to the boards. This is a miscommunication that I do hope we can resolve.
In your previous contact with RMAP, we made it clear to you that in order for forum reinstatement to occur, a letter of apology addressed to the surgeons would be necessary. Because that has not happened, we must still stand by our decision to not allow you to post on our forums. I know this is difficult for you, and is not the resolution you were hoping for; please know I understand that.
I feel I have very much so stood by my word, as RMAP has moved on from the situation. I do not see where we have fallen short of that promise. I also do not see how I have pushed you away, as I gladly accepted your offer to help RMAP patients in the future in my very first e-mail to you. Again, I apologize for that miscommunication.
We have support group every month and I do not see a better place to start helping RMAP patients than our support group. Your $500 fee for education goes to support group; it is up to you whether or not you utilize the resource.
Due to our history of misunderstanding one another through e-mail, I recommend that we either speak over the phone or in person to further resolve the issue, if you would like.
Thank you,
Meredith, RN
Education Director
Email (Meredith from RMAP)
Aha! So I was able to retrieve the email Meredith at Rocky Mountain Associated Physicians sent me. It is a rather nice email but I would like to point out for those of you who have read all the emails, the resolution was aimed at getting me back on the RMAP message board. RMAP did move on but they did not hold up their end of the resolution. I am still effectively banned from their message board. I'm not a big fan of those who do not hold up to their word.
Sean,
Thank you for your e-mail. It appears some miscommunication has occurred between our correspondences. First of all, I appreciate your willingness to accept my proposed resolution offer; furthermore, I have appreciated your efforts in following through with the aforementioned resolution with Carley and RMAP. However, I felt your e-mails in response to my initial e-mail carried a feeling of aggression and argument. I did not feel a response from me would prove productive, as one or the other, would find fault and/or offense would be taken. Hence, RMAP has done our part in accepting and following through on our end of the deal. We have, in fact, moved on.
I apologize if you felt we did not appreciate your offer to help current and future RMAP patients; I currently did not have immediate need to implement you into our educational system. I currently have several patients who are involved with support for our patients; however, that certainly did not mean I would never have need of you. I lament your decision to hastily offer your services to Dr. Cottam, as I had been brainstorming how to best utilize your experiences and I was looking forward to using you this summer in our support groups. Nonetheless, I wish you best of luck with sharing your experiences to the rest of the world. Whether it is through RMAP, Salt Lake Regional, or any other weight loss medium, you, along with many other successful weight loss surgery patients, possess a unique perspective and I am happy you are so willing to share it.
I do hope your efforts in reaching out to Dr. Cottam will not inhibit your follow-up care with us here at RMAP. We want to ensure your optimum health through yearly visits and annual blood work. Please do not hesitate to contact us with any further questions.
Wishing you all the best,
Meredith, RN
Education Director
Sean,
Thank you for your e-mail. It appears some miscommunication has occurred between our correspondences. First of all, I appreciate your willingness to accept my proposed resolution offer; furthermore, I have appreciated your efforts in following through with the aforementioned resolution with Carley and RMAP. However, I felt your e-mails in response to my initial e-mail carried a feeling of aggression and argument. I did not feel a response from me would prove productive, as one or the other, would find fault and/or offense would be taken. Hence, RMAP has done our part in accepting and following through on our end of the deal. We have, in fact, moved on.
I apologize if you felt we did not appreciate your offer to help current and future RMAP patients; I currently did not have immediate need to implement you into our educational system. I currently have several patients who are involved with support for our patients; however, that certainly did not mean I would never have need of you. I lament your decision to hastily offer your services to Dr. Cottam, as I had been brainstorming how to best utilize your experiences and I was looking forward to using you this summer in our support groups. Nonetheless, I wish you best of luck with sharing your experiences to the rest of the world. Whether it is through RMAP, Salt Lake Regional, or any other weight loss medium, you, along with many other successful weight loss surgery patients, possess a unique perspective and I am happy you are so willing to share it.
I do hope your efforts in reaching out to Dr. Cottam will not inhibit your follow-up care with us here at RMAP. We want to ensure your optimum health through yearly visits and annual blood work. Please do not hesitate to contact us with any further questions.
Wishing you all the best,
Meredith, RN
Education Director
Review: Rocky Mountain Associated Physicians and Surgical Weight Loss Center of Utah
Okay, so as stated before, I wrote Meredith to ask what the deal was with Rocky Mountain Associated Physicians (RMAP). I was going to post her response on here but it went to my spam folder and for some reason yahoo deleted it. I can't find it any longer. However, it basically stated that my response to her was aggressive and confrontational and so RMAP decided not to respond to me and to move on.
I posted the entire email exchange here in my blog. As you have read, all I did was to express my disappointment in her bias and to express my perspective since I was basically being told that I was this horrid person. I stated in that same email, over and over again, that I held no negative feelings towards RMAP or Carly and expressed my desire to resolve the situation.
Apparently, Meredith didn't like me giving my perspective. So it's okay for them to tell me how evil and inappropriate I am but I'm not allowed to have my own views. I'm supposed to let them tell me every little thing they don't like about me but I'm not afforded the same freedom -- lest I be banned. Hmmmmm. Well, I'm sorry. I made the effort to make nice with RMAP but this is indicitive of what they do. This is why their surgeons are great but the rest of their practice sucks.
So I'll say it here. I won't recommend RMAP to anyone. The surgeons are top notch but the $500 educational fee is a joke, the education part of their practice is a joke and the fact that they ban patients rather than deal with someone like Carly (I've heard from 12 of you to date -- thank you for relaying your negative experiences with her) they turn a blind eye.
I don't ever regret the surgery. I never will. But if I had to do it again, even knowing Dr. Smith the way I do, I would be hard pressed wanting to have the surgery with RMAP. Especially knowing that Dr. Cottam and his group is a Center of Excellence that is actually thought of in a better light than RMAP.
So if you're thinking of bariatric surgery, my recommendation is to go to the Surgical Weight Loss Center of Utah. Dr. Cottam and his group will treat you much better than RMAP and the surgeons there are also top notch. The number to the Surgical Weight Loss Center of Utah is 801.746.2885. Trust me, the surgeons there are the equal of those at Rocky Mountain Associated Physicians but the overall customer care experience is much greater at Surgical Weight Loss Center of Utah and you'll want that. I promise.
Email me if you have any questions.
Sean
I posted the entire email exchange here in my blog. As you have read, all I did was to express my disappointment in her bias and to express my perspective since I was basically being told that I was this horrid person. I stated in that same email, over and over again, that I held no negative feelings towards RMAP or Carly and expressed my desire to resolve the situation.
Apparently, Meredith didn't like me giving my perspective. So it's okay for them to tell me how evil and inappropriate I am but I'm not allowed to have my own views. I'm supposed to let them tell me every little thing they don't like about me but I'm not afforded the same freedom -- lest I be banned. Hmmmmm. Well, I'm sorry. I made the effort to make nice with RMAP but this is indicitive of what they do. This is why their surgeons are great but the rest of their practice sucks.
So I'll say it here. I won't recommend RMAP to anyone. The surgeons are top notch but the $500 educational fee is a joke, the education part of their practice is a joke and the fact that they ban patients rather than deal with someone like Carly (I've heard from 12 of you to date -- thank you for relaying your negative experiences with her) they turn a blind eye.
I don't ever regret the surgery. I never will. But if I had to do it again, even knowing Dr. Smith the way I do, I would be hard pressed wanting to have the surgery with RMAP. Especially knowing that Dr. Cottam and his group is a Center of Excellence that is actually thought of in a better light than RMAP.
So if you're thinking of bariatric surgery, my recommendation is to go to the Surgical Weight Loss Center of Utah. Dr. Cottam and his group will treat you much better than RMAP and the surgeons there are also top notch. The number to the Surgical Weight Loss Center of Utah is 801.746.2885. Trust me, the surgeons there are the equal of those at Rocky Mountain Associated Physicians but the overall customer care experience is much greater at Surgical Weight Loss Center of Utah and you'll want that. I promise.
Email me if you have any questions.
Sean
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Music
BTW, (off the WLS subject for a second), samples of my music are here on my blog. I'm always looking for new music so if you like the music you hear here, please let me know what other types of songs in this vein that you are listening to. You can find my email address by accessing my profile.
And, just so you know, I never, ever get tired of hearing "Supermassive Black Hole" by Muse.
Sean
And, just so you know, I never, ever get tired of hearing "Supermassive Black Hole" by Muse.
Sean
Email to Meredith at RMAP
Just wanted to share the email I sent to Meredith this morning:
Meredith.
I appreciate the time you took to respond initially to me on February 6, 2009. I also appreciate the offer of resolving the minor issue that existed between myself and Carly. As stated, I have nothing against Carly or RMAP. However, though I accepted your offer and have done my part (not saying anything that could be considered even slightly negative regarding Carly or RMAP), it appears the issue has not been resolved (or let go) from the RMAP side.
I have a big need to give back and share my 250 lbs loss with others who are contemplating or just beginning the journey. My blog, the RMAP facebook group and obesityhelp.com has allowed me to reach out to many former RMAP patients who were negatively affected by my ban from the RMAP board and a few others but my intention at reaching out to you initially (as I stated) was to increase my ability to give back, to share with others everything I have learned and help them be as successful as I have been. Since RMAP has made it obvious they have no need/desire to make use of me and my experiences to help their current and future patients, I have reached out to Dr. Cottam and his weight loss group.
As the other center of excellence here in Utah, I will be able to give back to their large patient group. This was a hard decision for me as my mother has a huge connection to RMAP surgeons (Dr. Smith, Dr. Halverson) as well as with Paula. I will always hold a soft spot for RMAP but life's too short to push for something RMAP obviously doesn't want.
Thanks for your time. And I do wish you and RMAP all the best.
Sean
Meredith.
I appreciate the time you took to respond initially to me on February 6, 2009. I also appreciate the offer of resolving the minor issue that existed between myself and Carly. As stated, I have nothing against Carly or RMAP. However, though I accepted your offer and have done my part (not saying anything that could be considered even slightly negative regarding Carly or RMAP), it appears the issue has not been resolved (or let go) from the RMAP side.
I have a big need to give back and share my 250 lbs loss with others who are contemplating or just beginning the journey. My blog, the RMAP facebook group and obesityhelp.com has allowed me to reach out to many former RMAP patients who were negatively affected by my ban from the RMAP board and a few others but my intention at reaching out to you initially (as I stated) was to increase my ability to give back, to share with others everything I have learned and help them be as successful as I have been. Since RMAP has made it obvious they have no need/desire to make use of me and my experiences to help their current and future patients, I have reached out to Dr. Cottam and his weight loss group.
As the other center of excellence here in Utah, I will be able to give back to their large patient group. This was a hard decision for me as my mother has a huge connection to RMAP surgeons (Dr. Smith, Dr. Halverson) as well as with Paula. I will always hold a soft spot for RMAP but life's too short to push for something RMAP obviously doesn't want.
Thanks for your time. And I do wish you and RMAP all the best.
Sean
The Effects of Weight Loss
I was just about to log off my blog when something popped into my head that I wanted to share. What are the biggest changes in my life due to my weight loss? I mean surely weight loss alone can't make my life different, can it? I wanted to take a moment to explore that in my mind and as I do so, I want to capture my thoughts on it for you. Yes, I'm just going to ramble. So consider yourself forewarned *smiles*
1. Movement. I always knew that I'd be able to move better if I lost weight. It wouldn't be as hard to get up off the couch and I wouldn't have to fight to maintain my balance or to push up each stair as I go up them. But I NEVER anticipated the change here. I exalt in the feeling of my muscles now as I move. I want to get out and move. I run up stairs now not for exercise but because I can and it feels GOOD to do so. I park way out in the parking lot at stores because I LOVE to feel my thigh muscles as I stretch them out and walk. This summer will see me at the local high school stadium a lot stretching out and yes, even running. HUGE difference.
2. Reactions. As much as I always wanted to believe there were people out there who treated me as a person despite my weight, I now know for sure what I always suspected... that's not true. Even my best friends treat me different now than they used to -- though they do argue that's not the case. It's even a bigger change with those who are somewhat biased against large people (whether they know it or not). I was almost invisible to them and treated much like you would treat garbage (if you treated garbage in a certain way). Suddenly I am the focus of attention just by walking down the hall at work or the grocery store and flirtations come my way almost every day from all ages. It's fun but it has really surprised me.
3. Past Relationships. I'll be the first one to admit that running across my ex-mother-in-law for Halloween 2007 (six months after surgery), when I was walking to my daughter's Halloween parade at her school was one of my best post-surgery moments. She stopped to cross the street, looked back at me and when she noticed how much weight I'd lost, her jaw literally dropped open. That image is burned on my brain. And now this last weekend when my daughter asked me if coffee causes you to gain weight -- I had to chuckle when she told me my ex-wife is really affected by the 50 lbs she has gained (she used to be super thin). I'm sure it doesn't help whenever she has to see me and the 250 lbs I've now lost. While it ultimately doesn't matter to me these days, it is a bit of a delicious delight.
4. Behavioral Control. There isn't a lot we control in this life other than our behaviors and reactions. Not having control over what I ate, or rather having my body win the battle over my mind in regards to eating and not being able to change that no matter how hard I fought, was one of the most frustrating aspects of my life. That has all changed now. Recently I gained 9 lbs (from 223 lbs to 232 lbs). 230 is my scary weight -- when I start getting concerned. No problem!! I just focused on my water and everything I was eating. I wasn't perfect but I improved a lot and now I'm back to 224 lbs. Yay! Pre-surgery, no way that happens. Post-surgery? Easy!
5. Size does Matter. Oh yes it does. Now I can go to Ballet West, the Capitol Theater, Lagoon, Disneyland, Kingsbury Hall, Energy Solutions Arena, the Venue, etc. because I FIT IN THE SEATS!!!!!!! This also holds true for airplanes (my new job allows me to travel -- I wouldn't have been able to take it before as I couldn't have flown). I've been able to share a lot of things with my daughter, make plans with my daughter, and travel like I've always wanted to -- all because my size is now normal and not 2-3 times bigger.
Oh. And one last thing. Ask yourself this. What was your reason for taking control of your life, having the surgery, and losing the weight? Keep that reason in your head at all times!!!! It's important. It's easy to say you did it for yourself. That's the politically correct thing to say. But let's be honest, that's not the only reason you did it. Here are my reasons:
(1) Because I wanted to improve my health, be happier, and have the life I always dreamed about;
(2) Because I wanted to be the kind of dad for my daughter that I couldn't be with an extra 250 lbs packed onto my body;
(3) Because my failed marriage taught me that I was never going to have the type of relationship I wanted unless I did something.
And now that I've done it. Now that I've lost 250 lbs, you might ask how has that changed how I view those three things.
(1) My blood pressure is better than anyone else at my work. Well within the normal range. My cholesterol is a beautiful thing. I'm healthy, healthy, healthy. And I can feel it. My life is quickly becoming everything I always wanted it to be. I just wish I had done this a long time before I did. At least 8 years before I did. Actually I think if I would have had the surgery 19 years before I did, my life would most certainly have spun off in a different direction. Who knows though if that would have been better or not. I can't know so I just enjoy where I am now. But that would have been interesting, for sure.
(2) I love being able to take my daughter to plays, to amusement parks, hiking/camping, and planning trips with her. I can now be the type of dad I have always wanted to be. It does suck a bit that I only get her 40-45% of the time. I miss her sounds and presence when she's not around. I love hearing her singing and dancing in her room, the "thumps" from upstairs, or the "daddy?!" when she has questions. But that's always the downside to divorce. At least my time with her now is of a high quality. We're always out doing something. This summer I'm going to get her into exercise and that will be yet another thing we can share.
(3) Ah, this is a big one. My ex-wife has a lot of qualities that I still admire to this day but how she was when we met... I never would have had a relationship with her if I'd been healthy. I didn't feel I was going to meet anyone better where I was weight-wise and so I ignored a lot of red flags. Now that I'm dating, I'm finding that I have the ability to make wise choices that aren't based around "what if I never find someone else?" This area is one of the more exciting to me. My self-esteem and self-confidence levels are at an all time high and continuing to increase with every day.
I'm absolutely giddy about where things are headed. I love my job, I'm highly thought of by the C level management at my company, the dating pool is amazingly large, I'm able to enjoy every minute of time with my daughter... things are good. So assuming I don't get hit by a bus tomorrow, I'm looking forward to every minute of every day for the next few decades. So all in all, the weight loss has exceeded every dream that I had of how it would be like if I lost the weight.
1. Movement. I always knew that I'd be able to move better if I lost weight. It wouldn't be as hard to get up off the couch and I wouldn't have to fight to maintain my balance or to push up each stair as I go up them. But I NEVER anticipated the change here. I exalt in the feeling of my muscles now as I move. I want to get out and move. I run up stairs now not for exercise but because I can and it feels GOOD to do so. I park way out in the parking lot at stores because I LOVE to feel my thigh muscles as I stretch them out and walk. This summer will see me at the local high school stadium a lot stretching out and yes, even running. HUGE difference.
2. Reactions. As much as I always wanted to believe there were people out there who treated me as a person despite my weight, I now know for sure what I always suspected... that's not true. Even my best friends treat me different now than they used to -- though they do argue that's not the case. It's even a bigger change with those who are somewhat biased against large people (whether they know it or not). I was almost invisible to them and treated much like you would treat garbage (if you treated garbage in a certain way). Suddenly I am the focus of attention just by walking down the hall at work or the grocery store and flirtations come my way almost every day from all ages. It's fun but it has really surprised me.
3. Past Relationships. I'll be the first one to admit that running across my ex-mother-in-law for Halloween 2007 (six months after surgery), when I was walking to my daughter's Halloween parade at her school was one of my best post-surgery moments. She stopped to cross the street, looked back at me and when she noticed how much weight I'd lost, her jaw literally dropped open. That image is burned on my brain. And now this last weekend when my daughter asked me if coffee causes you to gain weight -- I had to chuckle when she told me my ex-wife is really affected by the 50 lbs she has gained (she used to be super thin). I'm sure it doesn't help whenever she has to see me and the 250 lbs I've now lost. While it ultimately doesn't matter to me these days, it is a bit of a delicious delight.
4. Behavioral Control. There isn't a lot we control in this life other than our behaviors and reactions. Not having control over what I ate, or rather having my body win the battle over my mind in regards to eating and not being able to change that no matter how hard I fought, was one of the most frustrating aspects of my life. That has all changed now. Recently I gained 9 lbs (from 223 lbs to 232 lbs). 230 is my scary weight -- when I start getting concerned. No problem!! I just focused on my water and everything I was eating. I wasn't perfect but I improved a lot and now I'm back to 224 lbs. Yay! Pre-surgery, no way that happens. Post-surgery? Easy!
5. Size does Matter. Oh yes it does. Now I can go to Ballet West, the Capitol Theater, Lagoon, Disneyland, Kingsbury Hall, Energy Solutions Arena, the Venue, etc. because I FIT IN THE SEATS!!!!!!! This also holds true for airplanes (my new job allows me to travel -- I wouldn't have been able to take it before as I couldn't have flown). I've been able to share a lot of things with my daughter, make plans with my daughter, and travel like I've always wanted to -- all because my size is now normal and not 2-3 times bigger.
Oh. And one last thing. Ask yourself this. What was your reason for taking control of your life, having the surgery, and losing the weight? Keep that reason in your head at all times!!!! It's important. It's easy to say you did it for yourself. That's the politically correct thing to say. But let's be honest, that's not the only reason you did it. Here are my reasons:
(1) Because I wanted to improve my health, be happier, and have the life I always dreamed about;
(2) Because I wanted to be the kind of dad for my daughter that I couldn't be with an extra 250 lbs packed onto my body;
(3) Because my failed marriage taught me that I was never going to have the type of relationship I wanted unless I did something.
And now that I've done it. Now that I've lost 250 lbs, you might ask how has that changed how I view those three things.
(1) My blood pressure is better than anyone else at my work. Well within the normal range. My cholesterol is a beautiful thing. I'm healthy, healthy, healthy. And I can feel it. My life is quickly becoming everything I always wanted it to be. I just wish I had done this a long time before I did. At least 8 years before I did. Actually I think if I would have had the surgery 19 years before I did, my life would most certainly have spun off in a different direction. Who knows though if that would have been better or not. I can't know so I just enjoy where I am now. But that would have been interesting, for sure.
(2) I love being able to take my daughter to plays, to amusement parks, hiking/camping, and planning trips with her. I can now be the type of dad I have always wanted to be. It does suck a bit that I only get her 40-45% of the time. I miss her sounds and presence when she's not around. I love hearing her singing and dancing in her room, the "thumps" from upstairs, or the "daddy?!" when she has questions. But that's always the downside to divorce. At least my time with her now is of a high quality. We're always out doing something. This summer I'm going to get her into exercise and that will be yet another thing we can share.
(3) Ah, this is a big one. My ex-wife has a lot of qualities that I still admire to this day but how she was when we met... I never would have had a relationship with her if I'd been healthy. I didn't feel I was going to meet anyone better where I was weight-wise and so I ignored a lot of red flags. Now that I'm dating, I'm finding that I have the ability to make wise choices that aren't based around "what if I never find someone else?" This area is one of the more exciting to me. My self-esteem and self-confidence levels are at an all time high and continuing to increase with every day.
I'm absolutely giddy about where things are headed. I love my job, I'm highly thought of by the C level management at my company, the dating pool is amazingly large, I'm able to enjoy every minute of time with my daughter... things are good. So assuming I don't get hit by a bus tomorrow, I'm looking forward to every minute of every day for the next few decades. So all in all, the weight loss has exceeded every dream that I had of how it would be like if I lost the weight.
Plastic Surgery
Again I have to apologize for taking time away from updates. I've been under the weather. Before surgery I never used to get sick. I have to think that was due to one (or all) of three things: (1) My body had a lot more food to use to keep my body healthy; (2) the extra food and the lack of malabsorption helped my body be able to fend off illness; (3) I was too heavy to do much so I didn't get out and around people who were sick much.
I know it wasn't JUST (3) because I caught my daughter's illness this time and I've always been around her when she was sick (before and after surgery). But the first two times I EVER got a bad case of the flu have been post-surgery. All I can say is "ick!" I feel icky.
Anyway, today I wanted to talk about where I am on this journey. I currently weight 224 lbs. I still can't believe that I'm 250 lbs lighter than I was on April 11, 2007. I still double take whenever I see myself in the mirror. I went in to see the plastic surgeon this past week to discuss removal of my excess skin from my thighs, abdomen, upper arms, back and chest. I've scheduled (within the next couple of months) the first surgery for this. It will include the upper arms, the thighs, and the abdomen. I'm both excited and a bit anxious about this surgery. With any luck by June I'll be loving life.
But here's what I wanted to talk about in regards to that surgery. The timeline for this type of plastic surgery is much the same as it was for gastric bypass. You have to walk a lot after the surgery to avoid blood clots, 5-6 weeks and your surgeon's clearance before you start heavy exercise, and overall it takes about 18 months for 100% recovery -- scars looking their best, skin reattached perfectly, nerves regenerated, etc. So I'm going into it looking at it like 2009 is my plastic surgery year and 2011 is the year when my entire journey will be completely, 100% behind me. I'll be living my life long before 2011 (I already am) but I'm looking forward to the little improvements this is going to make for me with my exercise, etc.
By the way, if you want a plastic surgeon reference, try Dr. Scott Haupt. You can google him. I think he's amazing -- he spends an inordinate amount of time (both he and his patient coordinator Sheri) answering your questions and making sure that you have all your questions answered. If you elect to see him for a free consultation, please let him know you were referred by me.
Anyway, wish me luck.
Sean
I know it wasn't JUST (3) because I caught my daughter's illness this time and I've always been around her when she was sick (before and after surgery). But the first two times I EVER got a bad case of the flu have been post-surgery. All I can say is "ick!" I feel icky.
Anyway, today I wanted to talk about where I am on this journey. I currently weight 224 lbs. I still can't believe that I'm 250 lbs lighter than I was on April 11, 2007. I still double take whenever I see myself in the mirror. I went in to see the plastic surgeon this past week to discuss removal of my excess skin from my thighs, abdomen, upper arms, back and chest. I've scheduled (within the next couple of months) the first surgery for this. It will include the upper arms, the thighs, and the abdomen. I'm both excited and a bit anxious about this surgery. With any luck by June I'll be loving life.
But here's what I wanted to talk about in regards to that surgery. The timeline for this type of plastic surgery is much the same as it was for gastric bypass. You have to walk a lot after the surgery to avoid blood clots, 5-6 weeks and your surgeon's clearance before you start heavy exercise, and overall it takes about 18 months for 100% recovery -- scars looking their best, skin reattached perfectly, nerves regenerated, etc. So I'm going into it looking at it like 2009 is my plastic surgery year and 2011 is the year when my entire journey will be completely, 100% behind me. I'll be living my life long before 2011 (I already am) but I'm looking forward to the little improvements this is going to make for me with my exercise, etc.
By the way, if you want a plastic surgeon reference, try Dr. Scott Haupt. You can google him. I think he's amazing -- he spends an inordinate amount of time (both he and his patient coordinator Sheri) answering your questions and making sure that you have all your questions answered. If you elect to see him for a free consultation, please let him know you were referred by me.
Anyway, wish me luck.
Sean
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