Finding Balance

A DEAR FRIEND ONCE WROTE:
I know that there are many on here who have found themselves in the role of caretaker for other members of your family. I am finding this to be the case for me in a big way. The problem I have is that it puts me in a situation where I start to neglect myself in order to help someone else. Don't get me wrong - there isn't anything I would rather do, than be there for my family.

That being said, I think it is also important to stay focused on my own goal as well. My question for anyone who would like to give input, is what has worked for you to find the balance? . . to serve where needed and still meet your own needs too? I am open to any suggestions. I know there is a lot of wisdom out there.

Please share, I value what you have to say.

MY RESPONSE MIGHT COME ACROSS A BIT HARSH BUT IT WAS WRITTEN FROM MY HEART. IT WAS MY HOPE TO HELP MY FRIEND:
I find this question is quite common. It comes down to this. When you are morbidly obese, the tendency is to take care of others because you don't often find that you're loveable as you are.

One of the best things you can learn to do as you lose weight is to come to the realization that you have to put yourself first. If you don't put yourself first and treat yourself right, then you can't be the best person for those you care about.

Now when I say put yourself first, I don't mean you have to neglect anyone. But it's about taking care of yourself, making sure you are healthy in all aspects, then taking on the care of others. I realize this can be a hard transition but I guarantee it will make your life healthier and your family's life healthier. As you have learned to neglect yourself, your family has come to think it's normal to have someone neglect themselves for them. That's not a good thing.

Be healthy yourself, take care of yourself and then you have a greater capacity to provide for others.

Sean