My Response to Meredith

Meredith.

I was unable to respond to your call/voicemail today because I am out of the state on business. In fact, I just got back to the hotel room. But from the sounds of your email it doesn't sound like I need to call you tomorrow. Like your other emails, it appears you're being very biased on this subject and though you're being relatively nice in your emails, I fail to see where you're offering any type of resolution.

What I would like to point out is that this isn't about me, it isn't about Carly. It's about RMAP. My post that I got banned for wasn't about me, it wasn't about Carly. It was a request for RMAP to get better in a certain area. This is a complaint brought up by many patients and has been sooooo evident. The post was left out of a desire for RMAP to get better and to be the best. Carly took it personal and there was no reason to. But that's not how you choose to see it though many many patients read that and agree with that.

However, I'm glad you have a flood of anger and are upset by my words. Perhaps that finally gives you insight into my situation. Here for over 18 months I spent my free time to give back to RMAP, to be there for their patients, to give back because of this gift I was given. I defended the RMAP surgeons when they were attacked by patients on the message boards, I soothed things over when former patients complained about how horrible gastric bypass surgery was to them or when they complained about the educational program, how they felt the $500 educational fee was a waste or how unresponsive they felt the office was. I have carried the RMAP flag higher than was ever expected of me and drove as many patients to RMAP as possible.

Then I had a negative experience with Carly. I didn't say anything for a long time then it became relevant in a post. The whole point of the post was not to degrade Carly. You never read the post. If you had, you would have seen that I merely suggested that RMAP could improve on the customer service side. Yes if I was Carly that would have been hard to take but I would never have banned anyone for relaying a negative experience and their perception. I wouldn't try to call it slander when it doesn't come close to the definition of the word. I would have taken a hard look at the experience, perhaps talked to the person if necessary, maybe even addressed it. I wouldn't have run from it. But that's just me.

You never, in any of your emails to me stated that RMAP wanted a letter of apology. And honestly Meredith, the situation between Carly and I was the banning from the boards. You offered a resolution to that. Offering a resolution means that if one side follows through on their side of things, the other side does as well. So please... don't say that you followed through on yours. I made it clear in my initial email that I was addressing the ban from the message boards. You offered a resolution that I accepted. You reneged. It's as simple as that. If you want to talk about slander, how about the slander that RMAP has thrown my way? You accepting Carly's version of what happened without reading the emails other patients have left about it stating quite the opposite or even reading the post in and of itself. And did you expect that by telling me that Carly is the victim and I'm some hate mongering individual who is into slander was not going to offend me? Much like you, I've tried to keep the anger out of it.
I reached out to you in hopes that this situation could be resolved. Your proposed resolution was fine. I wanted to just let bygones be bygones and go back to flying the RMAP colors. But I guess that isnt' good enough. Now you want to exact a piece of flesh. I'm sorry but I've given up the days of when I was willing to let people walk over me. I am owed a written apology from Carly that specifically lets me know she understands what she is apologizing for. If I get that, I would be more than willing to provide a written apology to the surgeons and Carly herself and spend my days praising everyone at RMAP. But since that isn't going to happen, I don't have to worry about that, do I? Right. Because neither you nor Carly believe there is any wrongdoing on your part.

You are always welcome to call me. If I am able to answer, I'm always willing to talk. But if this is just going to spin wheels, then I'm not interested. I am active in the legislature and the medical community with gastric bypass and trying to get more insurances to pay for it (through passed bills, etc). I actively offer support of past patients and love it. If it's not going to be through the RMAP board, it will be somewhere.

I do not feel it is appropriate to ask a patient to apologize for relaying a true story and voicing his/her frustrations. It also isn't appropriate to label that patient as a slanderer. It's obvious how RMAP has positioned themselves. If I felt that it would do any good to talk to you about this on the phone, I would. But at this point I don't see how the two sides are able reconcile. Your resolution was for me not to say anything negative about Carly anymore. I agreed. The fact that you offered a "resolution" to the situation implies that any punishment would be rescinded. It was not. It is obvious that you feel that I owe an apology. I personally believe that I have been unjustly vilified and that I am owed an apology for having been put in this position and being slandered myself (and in this case the word fits).

I am sad to see RMAP take this position. I was certainly willing to work with RMAP and try to make some good will out of this. I am a big believer in the gastric bypass surgery and I am a huge advocate in the legislative sessions as we try to pass bills that will cause the insurance companies to pay for this surgery whenever medically necessary and I also, through my mother's past connections as well as my own, work within the medical community. I am reaching out to more and more obese people and past patients every day and I do give recommends. I would have always preferred those recommends be to RMAP but I cannot in good conscience continue to recommend anyone to a practice that condones this type of action. A practice should not fear its shortcomings but rather should realize that all practices have flaws and that bringing those flaws into light allow that practice to grow and become greater and stronger than before. If RMAP is not willing to do that, if they seek to always hide anything negative, no matter how true it might be, then it is not the practice that I thought it was.

Take care Meredith. Contrary to what you might believe, I harbor no ill will. It was my hope that you would come into this situation unbiased and allow a peaceful compromise take place between myself and Carly that would allow me to continue to help RMAP patients as I have tried to do for well over a year. I am somewhat dismayed that my efforts will need to take a different direction now. Please let your surgeons know that I will always speak very highly of them but that this situation makes it impossible for me to recommend their practice.

Thanks.
Sean