Meredith's Phone Call

Meredith called me this afternoon. We had an interesting phone conversation. Meredith is nice but nothing has changed in her stance or the stance of Rocky Mountain Associated Physician. A quick review:

RMAP believes that I slandered Carly. They state that it is okay to have freedom of expression on their board but apparently when you have that freedom of expression and actually name one of their employees, that's not okay. Nevermind that the post was not a personal attack, but rather me just relating an example where I was frustrated with the customer service of RMAP (like those who had been talking in the forum). I specifically stated in that post (at the end) that I thought highly of RMAP but hoped they would get better at customer service. There was no slander about it. As stated before, here's the definition of slander:

"a malicious, false, and defamatory statement or report: a slander against his good name."

The key here is "false." To be slander, it has to be false. I posted a true story and related my feelings to what happened. Meredith believes that could have been handled behind the scenes. Could it have been? I don't know. Who would I have talked to about it. I can't talk about it now as everyone at RMAP believes Carly's version of the story and certainly don't appear to give any weight to my version. To this date I have never heard one person say "I understand that you just wanted to know if Dr. Smith needed to see you based on his statement 'check back with me in six months.' I understand that you didn't need or really want an appointment unless Dr. Smith determined he really wanted to see you. I apologize that Dr. Smith wasn't consulted as to whether he needed to see you." No. All I continue to get is "Carly was just trying to tell you that you needed to make an appointment to see Dr. Smith." I know. That wasn't what I was asking her then and it's still not what I'm asking (nor is it the story I continue to tell). *sigh*

Anyway, Meredith believes in the above. That's fine. I believe things should be taken in proper context and this totally wasn't. Anyway, Meredith states that an email was sent to me saying that to be reinstated to the board, I would have to write a letter of apology to the surgeons. You have got to be kidding me!! An apology for what? For relating a true happening and openly hoping that it wouldn't happen again?

Okay. So I told Meredith that if she wanted a letter of apology that I would be willing to write one BUT Carly needed to provide me with one as well. Well, let's just say that's not going to happen. Meredith wants RMAP's apology for the incident to be her phone call to me. Okay, well then my apology should be able to be had over the phone as well. You want it in writing, I want one in writing. After all, I didn't create this situation myself -- in fact, I was trying to help when I wrote my post. I certainly didn't expect someone to decide it was a personal attack.

It became obvious on the phone call that Meredith and I weren't going to cover any ground that we hadn't already covered in email. Meredith and RMAP are unwilling to admit that they did anything wrong in regards to this incident. Meredith said that she did not call me evil. This is true. She didn't. But she and Carly make me feel like a criminal and she is trying to mete out some type of punishment in order to make it all better.

So what it comes down to is this: I basically admit that the entire incident is my fault and write a letter of apology to the RMAP surgeons and I can be reinstated to the message boards. Ummm... am I the only one who sees a problem here? By the way, I still find the whole issue of "resolution" to be interesting. So in our email exchanges before, I was told that Meredith's offer to resolve the situation was that I stop posting negative things about Carly. I have NOTHING against Carly. I never did. I actually think Carly is nice though I wish she had taken the time to listen to what I was saying. But how is it a resolution, as Meredith stated on the phone, that if I stop saying negative things about Carly that RMAP will move on and forget the incident? Hmmm. I don't know about you but to me resolution means that when I carry out my side, then the ban is removed. At least that was the assumption I made.

And I thought I was clear but apparently I wasn't. My entire reason for contacting Meredith was to rectify this situation and get things back to where they were. Why? Because of all the wonderful RMAP patients who reached out to me via email and my blog. Those who reached out to me on obesityhelp.com, those who have my cell phone and call me for advice. And those who have formed a help group on Facebook. I love being able to help all of them with personal experiences, things I've learned, etc. RMAP's message board was an easy way to do that. Why else would I reach out?

Anyway, like I said, I believe Meredith's goal was admirable but if RMAP isn't willing to admit to any kind of wrong doing here, then I'm not interested. If Carly wants to deliver a personal apology to me, I am more than willing to deliver a personal apology to everyone within RMAP. If they want me to stop writing about the incident and let bygones be bygones and put things back how they were before the incident, I'm good with that too. But to ask me to say I was the only person who did anything wrong is ridiculous and it isn't going to happen. Because it's not true. My intent with the offending post was not malicious, it was not slanderous, and it was not even detrimental to RMAP. What has been done to me, however...

Anyway, Meredith stated that Ray, the office manager will call me since her and I can't seem to find middle ground. I hope he does but somehow I think he won't. We'll see. Stay tuned. I would like to work this out but I'm not willing to sell my soul for it.

Sean